Something I’ve written 

So I really enjoy writing fiction and stories and have decided to post one, please give me your honest opinions if you feel like it! Here we go:

What is the point? I wondered this as I look towards the front of the classroom willing my eyes not to tear up. Another F that’s all I’ve been getting for the past month, Fs. What is wrong with me? I’ve went from being a straight A student to this. My mind is constantly fuzzy, and headaches will randomly hit me so hard that everything will go black for a moment.    After I calm down I look around the room. White walls, white board, and unbearably bright lights. All I’ve craved recently is darkness, it’s calmer there, less painful there. “Samantha do you need to go see the nurse?” My teacher asks me. I must have that look on my face again. “No thank you I’m fine,” she gives me one last unsure look before going back to the lecture.

At first everyone thought it was drugs, even though I insisted that I would never do something like that to myself, my parents still had me tested. Everything came back normal, but they were still unconvinced. Now they all think that I am mentally unstable. I’m this close to being shoved into an asylum, maybe I should be I don’t know what’s wrong with me either. Some “experts” say it’s depression, but I’m not sure about that. Yes I’ve had awful thoughts, but I also hear and see things in my head. Things I don’t want to believe. If I did believe that what I was seeing was real wouldn’t that make me even crazier?

The bell rings and I jump up, along with everyone else. It was the end of the day and we are all ready to leave. I plan on sleeping as soon as I get home, it is the only escape that I am lucky enough to have.

Out in the hallway my friend Leah greets me excitedly, “Sammy guess what!” I gave her a look that said that I wasn’t in the mood for guessing. She rolls her eyes, “we have a new student! I met him in chemistry, he’s my new lab partner.” This was interesting, because we rarely get new students. “That’s cool. How is he?” I ask trying to sound intrigued for her benefit, but it is hard to do when your head is pounded so hard it seems like someone decided that construction for a new hotel was taking place up in there.

“He was pretty nice, but there was something different about him. He seemed jittery, like he was trying really hard to focus.” Leah shrugged, “I feel really lucky. We never get new kids, and here I get one as a lab partner!” Leah is one of the only friends that didn’t leave me after everything had started going downhill. She really is one of the nicest girls in this school, and is always looking to make new friends. I always pictured her as a puppy trying to get into everything. “That’s great! Maybe you’ll be friends.”

Leah nods excitedly, “that’s the goal!” after getting that all out of her system she seemed to realize my tone. “Oh no you’re having one of those days again. Come on,” She says as she proceeds to drag me to her locker. “I have Tylenol in here if you think that would help.” I shake my head as she starts to grab the bottle, “Thank you, but they don’t help, and I thought we weren’t supposed to have any type of pain killers on campus.” We are both juniors in high school and had been best friends since elementary school. I’m used to her not following the rules, while I have to act like the mom keeping her in check.

“Yeah we’re not but if I’m having a migraine they’d rather see me with pain killers then me in pain. I can get mean.” She sets the bottle back into her locker and turns towards me with a sad look, “I wish you didn’t feel so bad all the time.” She is always so sympathetic about my headaches, but sometimes I feel like it was getting in the way of our friendship, which sucked. “I’ll be fine, I think I just need to go home.”

She nods, looking like she’s trying her hardest to understand what I’m going through, “I’ll give you a ride.”

I wake up with a jolt. Recently I have been having trouble remembering who I am and what I’m doing after waking up, which used to never be an issue. A lot of things that used to have never been an issue are now. After focusing myself I roll over in my bed and look out my window. It’s pouring rain outside and I realize that the thunder is probably what had woken me up. The headache is just a bad memory now, though I know it will be back sooner or later.

Rainy weather has always been my favorite type of weather, and the more thunder and lightening the better. It’s sort of calming in a weird way. I stare outside watching the rain and feeling better and better by the minute. Then I see movement in the rain, and blink a couple times. Usually that’s all it takes to get the things I see to go away but this time it stayed. My eyes slowly began to adjust to what I was seeing.

There was a figure that looked like a man standing in the street. I realize that while I was staring at it, it was also staring back. I jumped back frightened as I processed how frickin weird this is. A man is standing outside while it’s raining looking into my window. I quickly shut my curtains and try to take some deep breathes. It seemed like my hallucinations were getting more life like. That’s what it had to have been, right? Nothing makes you feel less safe then when you think that you can’t trust your own mind.

I snuggle deeper into my blankets and try to go back to sleep.

 

7:30 reads the clock as my alarm blares. I rub my eyes and slowly start to get ready for school. My room’s layout is pretty simple a bed next to the window, a desk in the corner with a laptop on it, a dresser, bookshelf, and closet. I get dressed and head into the bathroom.

Looking into the mirror I see that my eyes look even more tired than they usually do. Great. My dark brown hair falls in waves around my shoulders after combing through it. I give myself a once over and decide that it’s as good as it’s going to get.

I head down the stairs hoping that my brother remember not to leave without me again. My parents no longer trust me to drive, which is probably a good thing, all things considered I don’t trust myself either

This is as far I’ve gotten. Congrats if you got this far and sorry for any grammar mistakes! Hope y’all have a great day, we’ll see you in our next post!

-MLC 💜

 

 

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